Fate of the Furious

As of last night I have, by my calculations, spent nearly eight years of my life watching the Fast and the Furious movies. I am going to share a secret with you now: I don't even like them that much. The acting has always been indifferent, the stories bordering on stupid, I don't go in for car porn, and there is a disregard for collateral damage in the series that I just can't ignore, every movie they do millions of damage to completely innocent people's homes and vehicles, to say nothing of the infrastructure damage.

Also, what is it with movies like this and police chases? When the cops can be bothered at all that is. I mean these people are supposed to be driving tricked out supercars right? So how is it their opponents, not just cops I guess, are able to keep up with them enough to be a challenge? Also, how does driving a car very fast solve anything?

Anyway I liked Fate of the Furious a lot.

All those criticisms? Meh, it just doesn't matter anymore. Believe me, I spent a good couple hours thinking about why, and then I realized, at some point between the first movie and now the series changed genres and is no longer about committing crimes, no it is firmly in the genre of "superspy thriller" right there with the James Bond films, hell with the way the series is attracting star power it is only a matter of time until Daniel Craig shows up and they have a team-up against SPECTRE, I would watch the shit out of that movie.

Anyhow, the series had mostly completed its transformation in the last entry, and is now completely out of touch with reality, so now I can enjoy all the stupid stuff that I just couldn't get into before. Charlize Theron plays Cipher, a super hacker that that the gang has run afoul of twice before without realizing it who chooses to use Dom(Vin Diesel) in an elaborate plot to steal nuclear weapons from Russia for reasons which remain unclear, why would he work with her and betray his family? Spoiler alert, there is a baby involved. Some day I want to see one of these movies where the villain hasn't stolen the heroes' baby specifically, just a random baby with no connection to the main character at all, that would amuse me.

Apparently Charlize Theron has decided she wants to be in espionage/action films these days, what with this and Atomic Blond coming up in the fall, and I guess I buy it, she seems to be having a nice time with being the smartest person in the room, monologueing. and just generally being dastardly.

For the guy with top billing, Diesel doesn't get a lot of screen time, or lines, mostly spending his time looking vaguely threatening/constipated. Dwayne Johnson does most of the heavy lifting(heh), supported by the remaining crew, who again, mostly seem like they are having fun.

But that is what I like to see, movies don't have to be intensely well acted, have insightful social commentary, or teach me life lessons, there is nothing wrong with those things of course, but in the end, if I can watch something that makes me smile and it looks like those involved with it enjoyed doing it, then I can call it a success.

By that metric, Fate of the Furious was a success.