Complaints about customers.

I want to complain today, unusual I know but there you go, the topic of the evening is work, specifically my work, during which I make pizza and clean things, we can get pretty busy and there are a couple of customer types that make up the majority of our guests and I just can't stand them.

The Indecisive
The indecisive doesn't know what they want, and appear to be terrified of decisions in general, our menu is pretty small and if you don't want what is on it you can literally build any kind of pizza you can think of for the same price, I get that the choice can be overwhelming and that five or more minutes in line may not be enough to settle on your entire ingredient list, however I feel like you can at least have decided on a size by the time I ask you what I can get started for you. Often they are so uncertain of what to have that they spend our entire interaction clasping their hands over their mouth as if reacting to a horrible tragedy they had only just heard of.
Then once we are finally done and the pizza goes in the oven, they ask if it is too late to add anything,

Mumbles
Mumbles was a Dick Tracy villain I think, but they make up probably a fifth of my customers as well, these people are incapable of speaking louder than a soft murmur, and no matter how often I subtly attempt to get them to speak up, they refuse to do so, so I have to lean way over the counter and get my shirt in the pizza sauce. What infuriates me the most is these people can talk at a normal volume, they use it with their friends who are in line with them and I can understand that just fine, it is only when they tell me what they want to eat that they become shy six year olds at a party. I hate them so much.

The Texter
I love cell phones and the power they represent, but I know when not to use them, one of those times is when there is somebody waiting for you to tell them what you want to eat. Seriously, it is a conversation via text format, the pizza takes maybe two minutes to construct, just put it away and tell me your ingredients, or at least look at me as I gesture to the ingredients.


There are other odd folks too, like the morning beer drinkers, who worry me. But other folks are mostly harmless, every once in a while we get someone who wants literally everything on the pizza, this is like twenty plus ingredients and as far as I am concerned makes the thing virtually inedible, and also not really pizza anymore, maybe a casserole?
I once had a guy who appeared in full command of his faculties, and yet once midway through the construction process, asked me "What kind of toppings do you have?" mind you, he was looking at the toppings at that exact moment, and had already chosen several, I could not think of any way to answer that wouldn't be insulting, so I simply gestured to the counter and that seemed to be sufficient.

I like my job well enough, but sometimes you just gotta complain, and these guys are silly enough that I thought sharing with you would be fun.