Identity complaints

People are always experimenting with their identities, and when they settle on one, or an aspect of on, for however long that is, it is a big deal to them and they tend to want everything to be about it. This could be anything from sexual orientation to joining a fandom, and if there is one thing they all have in common, it is that they irritate me to no end, oh I respect their right to do it, and if I am honest, I am a little jealous that they have something to be that excited about, but come on people, shut up about it a while.

The following is a list of things that people do that bug me, it ranges from something as inconsequential as a style of dress, to sexual orientation, understand me that this comes from a place of annoyance, not hate. 

Beards

Portland sees a lot of beards, the current trend is to have a full beard and mustache combo, this isn't for me, but I respect those who can pull it off, like this guy.

 

 

  He's rockin' it, he is also the exception to the rule,
 the odds are you are not an exception to the rule, your beard probably looks terrible and it pains me to look upon it, I know mine would if I let it grow past the stubble phase, I have a couple patches of my face where no hair dares grow, they are not symmetrical either and a full beard on me would look pretty unruly. Other people can't fill it out, as always the webcomic Achewood has a relevant commentary:

A spider covets

That was cathartic, I can't say this shit to my customers at work, they would hit me and I would get fired, what else.

Sexual orientation
 There are some folks who make everything about the set of genitals they prefer for fun times, I've touched on this topic before when I wrote about how I don't want to hear about your dick, but I can extend that to all organs really, now it annoys me either way, but I gotta call out the straight folks for being worse about this, because when a straight person won't shut up about their sexuality it is coming from a place of privilege as well as possibly, or probably, being done to threaten and minimize the experiences of the queer community, while in general the gay folks tend to be pretty much enjoying being them. Too much of anything irritates me, but one is certainly worse than the other.

Your particular kink
 I am amazingly uninterested in what gets you off, perhaps you jerk it to Asian women, perhaps it is cartoons, or perhaps you enjoy being tied up and whipped. That's great! I am glad you figured out what is fun for you and have hopefully found someone to do it with, can you please stop telling me about it now? The only people who care about what you like in the bedroom are you and your sexual partners, I am pretty sure no one wants to think of me having sex so I don't talk about that stuff, returning the favor would be great.
This goes particularly for the BDSM crowd, not because I disapprove particularly, but because they are so damn proactive in defending the lifestyle when sometimes there doesn't seem to be any evidence it is under attack, every week some article pops up on my social media feeds talking about how healthy, or at least not harmful, the scene is, which is wonderful and I am happy for them, but there is never any discussion or argument about it, no on chimes in saying "Oh, you've convinced me that your lifestyle is totes healthy" or even to tell them the opposite and they are going to hell or whatever, so who are they trying to convince?
Again, you aren't hurting anyone so I don't hate you, it just annoys me.
Furries on the other hand are right out, you ain't gonna defend that shit with me, weirdo.

Headwear

Hat and beard, shameful

The fedora has a bad reputation these days, and deservedly so, it is largely worn by people who watched Mad Men and decided that they to can be stylish if they cram a too-small hat on their head and are rude to women. They are wrong and the poor fedora will be forever associated in my mind with that sort, it is sort of a cargo cult of class, they build a facade of style without really knowing why or how it works.
Now, I am a man who unironically wears a T-shirt that looks like Wolverine's abs, I have not had abs of my own for many a year now so you may think of me as a hypocrite for dissing on the hats, I am comfortable with this, proceed.
While we are on the topic of hats, top hats are a bad idea unless you are literally a circus ringmaster, and I know the circus isn't in town, it was here in September.
Same for goggles and monocles, fortunately only really seen with the Steampunk crowd of which I have complained before, really folks if you wear it on your head and you don't need it to see or to keep you warm, you should probably just leave it alone, there are people who hats look good on, when they are properly tailored and match the rest of your outfit, you are probably not one of them, sorry.

Fandom
I never have and never will understand tying ones identity into a production of pop culture, and this is coming from someone who consumes rather a lot of it on a daily basis, there are shows I do not talk about with strangers, not because I fear they will be offended by my tastes, but I fear that they will end up being one of those freaky fans and they will never shut up once they know I've seen it too.
It almost goes without saying that Doctor Who fans are the worst, just, the worst. But almost anything has it's committed fanbase that can drive others crazy, Firefly is pretty bad, and fans of the webcomic Homestuck remain some of the worst people on the internet to this day.




Real talk here, I don't hate any of the things I mentioned here today, except furries. All these things are identity stuff, some more superficial than others of course, and many are things I probably understand imperfectly if at all, but they all go into forming a picture of oneself, or are a reaction to that picture, and I can't actually condemn any of it as being unhealthy, except furries, to a point anyway.
Everyone goes through phases of figuring out who they are, for some there are many of those phases as they reinvent themselves over the course of their life, or are exposed to new ideas or simply grow out of old ones, but what I don't understand is when one of these things becomes what appears to be the only character trait a person has anymore.

We see it especially in religious converts, but it's a pattern that fits a lot of things, and no I am not saying coming out as gay is the same as converting to Christianity, I am saying that new changes in identity get adopted quite strongly as your brain takes on new information, this can be irritating for those around you but is usually pretty healthy I think, problems arise when it doesn't stop and becomes the only thing in their life, this is particularly worrying in fandom, when you are the thirty five year old guy dressed as the Doctor attending your fifth con of the season, there is something... off at that point.

I guess I don't get what people are trying to prove, or to who, by that point in their life, it's clear an argument isn't what they want exactly, but they keep posting articles, links, fanart, etc, that justify their identity and lifestyle, but who are they justifying it to and why?
Your kink is unimportant to anyone who isn't sleeping with you, you sexual orientation is likewise, or it should be anyway, that you watch My Little Pony while in your thirties is kinda strange, but again not really something anyone but you needs to care about, so why do I have to hear about it over and over again?

I have no answers, nor did I ever claim to, and I expect no one to change because I complained on my blog, it's just been bugging me, I probably could have been more coherent though, sorry.