Sometimes it doesn't get better

I've mentioned a couple times before that I feel like things tend to get better rather than worse, even if it is slow, I tend to be an optimist despite using this space to complain more often than not. That doesn't mean that I think a positive attitude is always the best thing.

As you might have gathered from the title of this post, I don't really care for the "It Gets Better" campaign, it's point is to give a message to at risk people that everything isn't terrible, but I am not sure it is the most respectful thing to be telling people in shitty situations. Sometimes it doesn't get better and I feel like denying that to people in those situations is denying that their experience really matters.

I know that sometimes when you are in a bad situation, it helps to once in a while be made aware that there is something outside your particular hell, but I am not sure how telling people it gets better is more useful than helping them make it better.

As you may have guessed I am not really a fan of the power of positive thinking either. There is something to be said for at least the idea that things will be okay, but pushing the idea hard doesn't seem to be the best move either, for one thing it is really hard to tell somebody who is in pain or a bad place that they should try to think positive without pissing them off (and rightly so) but also if you extend the logic it turns into a way to blame the victim. If thinking positive helps things get better, and things aren't getting better, than it must be your fault for not thinking positive in the first place. I just don't think it is the right idea to give to someone who might be at risk for any number of reasons.

Essentially I just don't see how these things provide a tangible benefit for someone with a problem that seems insoluble when there are many other ways to help that can actually make a difference, even if the problem can't be fixed by you. The easiest thing to do is simply try to talk to them, being an ear or a shoulder to cry on takes nothing more than being there, be a help in some way, bring a sandwich over, help do a chore, invite them out for an afternoon,, rather than telling someone it gets better, show them how it might.

Positive thinking, feh!