Working on it

I am almost three weeks into my bootcamp course, since it is a fifteen week course that means I am roughly 20% completed. This aligns with the progress tracker on the course website so I guess that means I am on schedule.

The first week was pretty basic stuff, learning terms and definitions that most people who have grown up with some awareness of computers already should know, stuff like what a router is, the difference between the internet and the world wide web, that sort of thing, it was a slog but required virtually no thought.
The second week was more of the same, titled "Overview of Software Development", it had a focus on talking about how programming works in a business and team environment, the terms got a bit more arcane, and I was way ahead of schedule before I ran headfirst into the first actual coding I have ever done. It's SmallBasic, which is a very, well, basic coding language developed by Microsoft just for introductory coding classes, the exercises were easy, but it was such a curveball that I kind of had a lot more difficulty than I thought I would and it took me longer than I wanted to get my brain thinking properly. But I got it in the end.
This week we started with learning about version control, basically how work is backed up and organized so that it is easy to see when and how changes to a program are made, and to revert to an older version if one of those changes turns out to have been a bad idea, that cruised by and now I am in the first portion of the HTML and CSS course, and apparently will be making a website soon.

HTML is actually something I studied a little bit when getting ready to open the store, I figured I should have some idea how my website would work or something, I think I actually had an idea that I would make it myself, but quickly changed my mind and hired someone who knew what they were doing, that was very relaxing and I recommend it. So far the work is all vaguely familiar, and I don't anticipate any huge challenges.

I fear that I will run into something that I can't just breeze through so I am sort of stressing building up a buffer of work so that I won't get behind if/when that happens. I need to prepare myself for a challenge because frankly, I don't do very well when it doesn't come easily, especially in schooling. Without wanting to sound too egotistical, I am pretty smart, and also have a fairly broad general knowledge base, this means that a lot of time in classes I don't have to work very hard at all at the beginning because I either already know, or am able to read ahead or figure out from context what the intro level stuff is. This isn't really an advantage though because eventually things stop being intro level and one actually has to try to get things done. Historically it is not something I have been good at, I think I took Introductory Algebra like five times during my various college attempts before I (narrowly) passed it.

I don't want to do that this time, I feel like this might be my last chance to really learn something I can apply professionally without really sacrificing financially and I need to take advantage of it, people rarely get the opportunities I have and I haven't historically made the best of those I think.

So far so good though! I am studying every day, the online format is working very well for me so far, and the staff are very responsive even if I am not there in person.

I have even been doing more social stuff! By that I mean going to a game store an playing Magic every week, I am trying to not be such a nerdy shut in as well, come to think of it perhaps Magic is not the best way to avoid that, but it's what I am doing and it's working for now.

My real goal is to do something outside the house that involves other people at least twice a month, that doesn't seem like a lot, but if you hate leaving the house and are ambivalent at best about people, it's a challenge. And make no mistake friends, I am both those things. I embody the word "introvert" and folks, it irritates me to no end when people act like the term means they are just too damn smart and quirky to be around people, being around people is fucking exhausting, and that isn't because I am too smart or unique for them, it is just because my fucked up brain doesn't feel safe in groups. This isn't something to be proud of and it's actively detrimental to maintaining social relationships and networking to find a job.

It turns out that if you don't go out and do stuff with people, then they stop inviting you to things, "but Logan!" I hear you say, "Aren't you perfectly happy at home with your books and your cat?"
NO
No I am not, I mean, yeah I love my cat, and my books, also my wife is pretty great too, but even with all that it is still possible to get lonely, just because socializing is tiring doesn't mean I don't need it, just to have someone else to talk to once in a while, or something to look forward to. Being more comfortable sometimes doesn't actually equate to being more happy.

Also, I am told by people who I have reason to trust that networking is a pretty good idea in the software development field. And that it goes beyond just updating your LinkedIn profile once in a while. I have to figure this shit out, or at least tolerate it now and again, because I absolutely want to be doing something different with my life.

I'm working on it, and so far it seems to be going alright, but I am really tired these days. I hope that I can train myself to have some more endurance otherwise I gotta figure out a new tactic.