sleep and doing stuff

Don't wanna write, want to play video games and eat snacks while watching TV and reading... all at the same time.

But such is not for me as I don't have that ability to multitask, yet.

I've had a stable work schedule for a couple weeks now, and it appears to be the same for the next few weeks going forward, which is surprisingly pleasant. I mean, it's still work but the predictability of the shifts makes it easier to plan other stuff.

My sleep schedule has been fucked up lately but I think I am getting it under control finally, I seem to have a vigorous objection to the only thing I do during a day be working, and that expresses itself by refusing to go to bed until I have given myself sufficient time to fool around, which is all well and good but four AM is no proper time to go to bed, and just makes me sleep in so that I have no time to do anything before work, and so the cycle continues. The answer of course, is to just get up earlier and do stuff before work, then sleep at a reasonable hour after I get home, so my weekend has been devoted to adjusting that schedule, which may or may not have worked, we will find out in a day or two.

Which brings me to self care. One of the things people recommend when attempting to live with stress, anxiety, or depression, is that you simply do one productive thing a day beyond eating and personal hygiene, such as paying a bill, going to work, having a conversation with someone who doesn't live with you, that sort of thing. That's well and good and a good way to make yourself get used to doing stuff, and accomplishing something tangible, even if it is small, is still a positive you can point to at the end of the day, yeah maybe my brain says that everything is shit but you know what? The water bill is paid and that is a thing.

As so often is the case with good self care advice people tend to forget that there is a follow up to that, just as doing something productive, as above, is a follow up to making yourself eat and take a shower, so to is there more to caring for yourself and being functional than  just doing one thing.

That is doing two things, then three, and so on.

I struggle with this, as you might have gathered from the post above, lots of the time work is my one thing, and then that's it for the day, not only that but because it is the one thing, then I don't do anything else before that because I want to "save my energy" or something for it. That isn't really the healthiest thing I could be doing, one of the reasons I have the writing project is to have another thing that gets done (most)days, it's practice for dealing with other stuff.

Other stuff doesn't have to be chores, although it is a good idea to actually do a chore now and again of course, socializing is a big option, I am trying to get in the habit of spending two nights a month playing Magic at a game store and so far I am at a month and a half in a row, which isn't saying much, but it's a start. But again that can't be the only thing in the day otherwise I am just replacing work with play as my one thing I do, and that is backsliding, so there are household chores to do, or a shopping trip, or a phone call dealing with my student loan provider, talking or meeting up with family members works too if it gets me to put on underwear and get out of the house a little.

As with most things I guess you gotta do more, even at the risk of being tired or stressed out at some point, everyone has different limits but figuring out how to safely push them is the only way to get better at this whole, existing thing.