Birthday

It was my birthday today, and since I just got back from vacation I didn't request it off or anything so I worked an eight hour shift and came home, we ordered food in and Zena made a cake, so it isn't all bad. I think I am coming down with something though.

I get melancholic on my birthdays these days. It will come as no surprise to anyone that I am basically always awake at around midnight, so when it turns over from 11:59PM June 30 to 12:00 AM July 1 I am there to see it happen.

I spend a lot of time by myself, Zena actually requires and likes sleep, so my late nights are just mine, I go for hours without saying anything to anyone unless the cat comes in. Rarely am I doing anything productive though. I don't have a lot of friends either, oh I have plenty of people I am friendly with, and folks who care about me, but not really many people I can call to hang out with, perhaps that is just a result of growing older but it isolates me.

I have tried to do stuff, I used to do karaoke for my birthday party, but after a couple years of the majority of invitees flaking for various reasons I kind of gave up, it's easier to not even try than to have to cancel at the last minute. My work schedule doesn't match up with anyone else' and my invites to stuff, rare as they are, go without response more often than not. I realize I am part of the problem here, my own preference for staying home means that I too ignore many invites and events, and it isn't fair to expect people to drop everything and attend my stuff when I won't do the same once in a while.

That said my birthdays are still kind of lonely.

I don't wanna sound like I am whining, cause I am not really, it's just a thing.

I gotta go to bed,I have to be at work in 6 hours.