Candidate profile: Carly Fiorina, AKA Lady Voldemort

I know I basically accuse all these guys of running on a combination of lies and hate, but Fiorina definitely is above average in both regards, I was reminded of her existence when today she hijacked a kids field trip at a botanical garden and had them sit in front of a poster of an aborted fetus as she railed against Planned Parenthood based the repeatedly debunked "expose" videos, and lies she made up whole cloth on her own.

As usual, official campaign photo here.

So who is she? Well I'll tell you, Carly Fiorina started the high profile part of her career with AT&T, becoming the first female high level executive the company ever hired, she then bounced a bit until she ended up as CEO of Hewlett-Packard from 1999 until she was forced out by the board in 2005, her tenure was marked by massive declines in profits as well as the loss of some thirty thousand jobs.

Feeling this experience made her ready to enter politics, she spent some time on advisory boards before attempting to unseat Barbara Boxer during the 2010 California Senate race, the campaign was marked by the usual round of shitflinging as well as a Sarah Palin endorsement, and despite 2010 being a watershed year for Republican Senators, she was defeated in a landslide.

This of course meant she was ready for the national stage and a presidential race I guess, so here we are today, she currently polls somewhere in the 3-6% range nationally and has incredibly poor favorables, mostly due to the appearance that she might at any time unhinge her jaw and swallow a baby whole.

She appears to be a fine businesswoman, and by that I mean a stereotypical stock market price at all costs kind of uber-capitalist  horrorshow. She owns two yachts, because, in her words, she lives in two different places, she fails to see how this separates her from her constituency.

On policy she is a bog standard Republican, with a touch more ignorance about international events, and an absolute willingness to entirely fabricate details at the drop of a hat, currently she is banging the drum of limiting abortion rights and defunding Planned Parenthood, which apparently makes her friend to women everywhere in the mind of the conservatives.

She is one of the bigger warhawks in the race, regularly demanding the bombing of ISIS and other targets as well as strict anti-terrorism measures, but I get the impression that she is more going through the motions than anything else, see she clearly knows virtually nothing about the countries she talks about, not as bad as Ben Carson, but her talking points on international matters seem cribbed from a half remembered Wikipedia article rather than something she came to via actual research. The only policy she really seems to have a personal attachment to is the Planned Parenthood thing, and that is an unreasoning blind rage that doesn't need facts, but also doesn't recognize that other people do need facts, and gets mad when they don't just agree with her.

In a world where Donal Trump doesn't run for president, she might have had an outside shot, but there is only one space for an insane billionaire in the race, and it isn't hers, and besides a short bump after an okay performance in the first debate, she has been relegated to the bottom of the barrel with the other no hopers, I assume she hasn't dropped out yet because she is shilling a book or something, but honestly couldn't be bothered to find out.

She is painful to listen too, not as bad as Cruz or Palin, but pretty damn bad, and she also has no chance at all to win, because she is incapable of making human facial expressions, I am pretty sure that is due to her being a Reptiod, or possibly a pile of ball pythons in a human suit.